The Breakup

This a funny article that I came across in the Internet… Posting this article as it makes a good read!
I watched with awe and amazement as she came out of her hiding place. First a little peep over the ledge and then her whole absolutely symmetrical body. A perfectly blond head and a body you could die for. White as a virgin island’s sand. I stared at her with admiration and fear. She had changed the course of my life. Everyone said that she was killing me softly without me realizing it.
At first, like all bachelors, even I just wanted to hang around with her and show her off as my new found love. I was successful too. I raised many eyebrows but at the same time I was shit scared of introducing her to my family, even as “just a friend”. We met scarcely in the beginning but gradually we bumped into each other more often, sometimes not willingly or sometimes through a common friend. We grew close, so close that I was addicted to her.
Days passed into weeks, into months, into years. We were together all the time. She accompanied me to office, to the movies, shopping, even to my bed. We were inseparable. I felt great but inside me a feeling of guilt was beginning to rise. I was not keeping well off late. I used to get tired very soon and my mood was always cranky. At first I thought it was because of my close association with her but then I realized it was much more. She always stood by me in my times of distress and was of great help too.
It was only later that I realized that all this while, it was she who was killing me softly every time I kissed her. My deteriorating health made me reach a conclusion finally. I had to break up with my love. I didn’t want to but I had to. I had no other option. I was dying and I didn’t want her to be with me while I died. She was great with me and we had some great times but now she must leave me alone. She was too good to be ignored and I was sure that she would have already chosen her next victim by now.
I finally collated all the courage I could and decided to confront her with the harsh truth of breakup.
Sitting in the balcony in my favorite shorts and T shirt, I pulled her out from where she was hiding behind me. Looking at her, I felt sorry, she was so innocent and yet…….. I had to kill her.
“Whats the matter darling?”, she asked me with the most tender care and utmost love.
“My love,”, I said kissing her lightly, “I have to leave you now. It’s been a long time and we had a heavenly experience. We were a match made in heaven”
“Oh yes we were and we still are…. Then why do you want to leave me? You know how much I love you and how much you love me. You know we can’t stay with each other. Please don’t leave me now… I’ll die”.
“I’m sorry my love but I have made a decision”, one more kiss.
“Why? Have you found someone else? Is there someone who can make you happier, remove your sorrows the way I can? Help you in times of pain?”
“Yes there is someone else. But you won’t understand because you don’t have a heart.”
“I loved you more than anyone ever did. You will be sorry for this.”
I could feel her heat in my hands and could sense the fire running within her. I had to stay calm. She was now withering away and I was almost there… My goal was almost reached….
After a few more kisses and heated words I finally was able to convince her. “Goodbye” I said and sent her tumbling down from my fourth floor balcony. She watched me as she descended the distance until finally her head struck the floor below. Red sparks flew and my love, the cigarette bud, died without a sound.
I broke up from my love, Smoking…