Paartha Nyabagam – Px12 – Reversed Emotions

“Hey hero…What about dinner?”


“Taco Bell”


“And I need to talk to you something really important…”

There was a silence and then, “Ok…Sure”

We met at 2 PM and I discussed with him the prospect of visiting Niagara during the long weekend. He turned down the plan with an explanation that it was a boring trip to drive all the way to just get a glimpse of the falls and bunk three days of work.

Couple of days later, I came out with a fresh idea of Florida – Miami visit. He again gave me a reason for too much travel and no time to skip his part time working shifts.

With every passing day, I was getting really closer to Raam. I started to rely on him for everything. We went out for lunch together, studied together even though I knew that we were into completely different streams. I started to feel really close to him. I was falling for him but he never showed any signs of it. We would meet and I would hug him as I did every time since the time I had known him but he would react to it in a friendly pat without a change.

He looked very handsome but was a duffer, he knows to take control of a situation but when it comes to his own stuff, he sucked at it. He was cool about us going out, studying together but he never attempted to show any emotions towards me. He was a sucker for chivalry but always played down the boyfriend – girlfriend talks amongst his friends. He would hang around me for almost 10 – 12 hours every day yet he never felt anything for me.

I wanted to go out and this was the only way I could let him speak to me without any influence and even I could speak from my heart. I wanted him to be more than a friend, but I didn’t know what it was…

Here he comes, I murmured. Let me try for one last time whether he wants to go on a vacation during this long weekend…

“Hey…I want to give you a surprise”, he said

“What??? It was me who was supposed to give you one”, I whispered…

“What is it? You were saying something…”

“Nope…Nothing. Go on. What is it about?”

“Guess what…This weekend…Fill up the blanks…L _ S V E _ _ S

“No…No…You got to be kidding me…” I said in complete awe and excitement!

“What better place in this world than the sin city, Las Vegas…” I said to myself

“Fantastic…So Friday morning, 10 AM”

“Hail Hitler” I said, saluting him!

“Awesome!” he said and left…

Saturday Morning:
I was all set. I packed by backpack a day earlier of the travel. I couldn’t sleep the entire night, I woke up at 5 AM in the morning, took bath for more than 2 hours, got dressed in my cool jean Capri and a green spaghetti tank that he bought me from our Universal Studios trip last year, made sure that my hair was perfectly partitioned from the centre and loose… just the way he loves, took my cow boy hat and coolers which he got me from the Tennessee trip.

I looked at me in the mirror and felt for a moment that why exactly I am doing all this…I felt shy for a moment and then made lots of faces about how to greet him when I meet. This was the first time I felt something different for him. I stood staring at the mirror and the visuals of the wonderful moments between us flashed on the mirror like a movie…

I was in love…I fell for him…

The doorbell rang and I opened…He was there in his typical casual wear…

“Heyyyyy Princess…Someone’s looking hotter than ever”, he said

I smiled and gave him a hug…It was different for me…It was the usual one for him.

“Where’s your luggage mam?”

I pointed the location and asked him to lock the house. I walked towards the car and I saw someone sitting in the front seat…The window was lowered…I had a perplexed WTF look on my face.



Breathing heavily with the luggage in his hands, “Girls…Couldn’t introduce you both this long and I am extremely sorry for that…

Suman, this is Preethi…Preethi, this is Suman”

To be continued…

Paartha Nyabagam – Px11 – Malibu Beach

“So how is college life?”

“Going good”

“Are you always sober or still getting adjusted at the campus?”

She had a disturbed look on her face, “No…Nothing like that it’s just too troubling…Nothing…Will talk to you later”

“Hey…You got to know one thing in your life”

She stood there listening.

“I don’t know if you are comfortable sharing it with me or with anyone but the greatest gift of mankind is to share their worries and joys when they are down and out. You have been getting A’s in all the subjects yet you don’t talk to anyone in your room, you spend your weekends working at Subway but you hardly noticed that even I work at subway but in night shifts, you tend to say something when we are in the middle of the conversation or our evening walks down the campus lane yet you never say anything and you keep carrying this dairy of yours all the time. What exactly went wrong with your life? Is everything ok? Are you fine living here? Did you lose anyone you dearly loved or what exactly it is? You don’t have to speak to me but you need to share your thoughts with someone to feel lighter and better”

She was in tears yet she pulled a paper out of her bag, wrote something over it, placed it on my hand and walked away. I didn’t have a clue but I was sure that I did disturb her in some way. She was suffering and she had to be cured. I opened the letter and it read,

“Pick me up tomorrow evening at 3 and let’s go to Malibu beach for coffee”

I nodded in acceptance and walked back to my room…

The next day, I took Praveen’s car as it gave better mileage and drove straight to her home, picked her up and said,



“Nice dress…”

She smiled and I started to drive. The first 45 minutes was a silent movie.

Boy this girl is super sober, I murmured.

“Ok…I can’t keep quiet anymore. So you got to tell me, what exactly happened and then she started off the story after a long pause.”

Trust me…It was the longest, most boring, most frustrating and a complete hopeless story…All I heard during this entire trip goes like this…

School friend… Boyfriend… Missed me… I hated him… He hated me… (I thought myself… Now I hate you!)… Then fell in love with him… I fell for him when he helped an aged lady cross the road… his bad behaviour… his fight with my father… He found it difficult to adjust with my rules…. My college was poking fun at me… he was a jerk… he called me slut… I said hell with you… He said balls with me… He went crazy… I want him… I don’t have anyone… He quit… He still loves me… I don’t love him… I love him…

She went on and on and on and I never understood the reason why we had to drive all the way to Malibu beach to talk about this. I strongly felt we could have gone to a kindergarten class with a pile of tissues to wipe. I felt like I was tied down to a chair and made to watch Rahul Dravid bat for five days without blinking my eyes and the worst part was she didn’t stop it just during the 2 hour long drive, but even during the coffee we had from the coffee shop. Then almost when I was done drinking the coffee and we started walking along the beach…I decided that I had heard enough…

“You aren’t even listening to me and that’s exactly the reason why I don’t share it with anyone…”

It just seemed like she hasn’t spoken to anyone in the last 10 months and now she is letting go…Trust me…It was like listening to a kids story of blame game.

“No…Yes…Listen! Preethi…These are just common things which happen to every normal person. Not everyone gets married to their first love. You have to get along with your life. Life has to move on. You just can’t keep yourself this way. People would think you are crazy…”

“Thanks” she replied in an angry tone…

“Hey listen…You just can’t keep cribbing like this…You got to be absolutely stupid to keep thinking about something that has already ended…The world is full of new things. What’s new today turns into 1st generation to tomorrow’s world? Seriously speaking…Sorry to say this, but you suck! You just can’t be this way…”

“And I know why none of the guys even come and talk to me…” she sobbed.

“Whaa…What? Do I look like a girl?”

She just burst into laughter…

“Come on babe…Move on…Look at you…Any guy would love to fall for you, if you stopped being abstemious.

I would go head over heels for you, if you start being a chick like you were when I saw in Fisherman’s Cove…For god sake…No at least for my sake…please…please grow up dear!”

She gawked at me for a while and I didn’t have a clue whether she ever understood what I jabbered all this while…I always knew that I was worse at making people understand or even making feel better. Malar always cautioned me that I was pathetic when it comes to consoling people…Nevertheless, I tried to induce some guy talk…No…Let me call it a pep talk…

But she just remained silent for the rest of the time until we came back home…

Paartha Nyabagam – Px10 – The Breakup

I never had the clue of whom to spend the time with…Preethi or Suman?

Suman just had a break up with her so called professor and that never stopped me giving sadistic pleasure. Wow… The hottest Indian chick in the campus is not only my “best friend” but single now. I felt I was on a Grand Prix race and racing at speeds I imagined only in my dreams!

“I just hate him. He dumped me for the sake of that Japanese bitch! I am gonna fucking kill her…” she said breaking the wine glass from our table…

“Baby… you are too drunk and I can’t allow you to have anymore”



“Raaaaaaammm… Do you know that you are good guy?” My eyes lit up but pretended as if I never heard it.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah… Yeah… I am listening. Now sit back until we reach home”

“Noooooooooo I don’t want to go home! I want to go Zuma Beach…”

I gave a stare and said, “You got to be out of your mind. It’s almost an hour from here and you would be knocked out by then”

“Please… I want to go… Please… I will learn Tamil for you”

I chuckled but said,
“Baby… Understand. Its 1 AM already and going to the beach is not a good idea. You are already on four shots of tequila, one glass of wine and two Bacardi breezers. It’s advisable to go home. You be a good girl and I will take you tomorrow without fail”

She started her fake crying and I didn’t mind as I know she would flatten out in 10 minutes but I was wrong. She was floored in 3 minutes after I asked her to sing a Bhojpuri song.

I watched her through my rear mirror while she slept in the back seat. She was stunning and I felt pity that she had to go through so much in her life at this young age. My past one year with her helped me understand the person she was but never the feeling of something special weighed off me… She was five when her parents had a divorce. She came to the United States with her father as he was well off monetarily than her mother. Her father married for the 2nd time and so her mother. She was separated from her father when she was 18 and travelled down to California to pursue higher studies. She met Marcus and felt her long lost love was found again but little she realised that her entire life was a battle for an ever lasting love and he was never the guy…

We reached home and I carried her out of the car in my arms, opened the doors and put her on the bed.

“Don’t go… Please… Stay back…”

“I am not going anywhere. Now sleep”

“Kiss me…”

My heart desired, my brain stopped functioning for a nano second. I didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity but by the time I came close to her, she collapsed and fell asleep…
I bent my head shook for a while with a genuine smile and then stood up, covered her with a comforter.

She had the habit of whispering in her sleep and today was no different. She was wearing a black spaghetti top and a blue jean shorts. Her top revealed her curvy navel and her shorts gave away her beautiful waxed legs. She was hot and I just couldn’t resist myself. I decided not to stay back as it was too risky not only for her but for our relationship as well.

I got up and walked towards the door…

“Why no o… lovsss meee? All theeyyy waannnttt isss ttoo get physicccc with me… I hate you Marc… bassss…

Why doesn’t anyone be true to me like Rrrraaa…mmmmmm”

I stopped… turned towards her… I didn’t know what to react… All this while, Suman to me = Wait for your chance… Sex some day!

But everything changed. She was too tender for another heart break and I never wanted to be a 

reason… My eyes were soaked as I was disturbed for the first time since years. I slowly wiped off the tears, turned off the lights and stepped out of her house.

Paartha Nyabagam – Px09 – 2100 Hrs Placard


Day 2… “California State University, Northridge – Indian Student Association welcomes U” read my placard.

I kept looking for almost 90 minutes. I haven’t smoked for almost 3 hours and I was increasingly getting restless and to top it up,

“Machan! You’re missing an awesome match… Sachin is clobbering…!” I disconnected the call without a second thought and was cursing myself. 

“Hi… Shall we?”


“You are from the CSUN, Northridge right”


I was blanked for a couple of minutes and said, “P…Preethi…”

“Hey! R…Raam!”

“Wow… You got to be kidding me…”

“Is that really you? For how long we would keep bumping into each other this way!”

I smiled. “So it’s just you then!”

“Yeah!” with a sweet tone she answered

“Cool. Let me help you out with the luggage…”

“Ouch! Looks like you emptied all of Chennai to come here”

“Haha…Got some provisions along with cooker and other utensils…”

“Do you cook?”

“No. I was just hoping that I could find someone who cooks…”

“Optimistic answer…”

“So how is life in Chennai?”


We both smiled.

“Anything for dinner”

“No… I am too tired. I want to sleep”

30 minutes passed by…

“Can I have your phone? I would like to call my parents and tell them that I had reached”

“Sure. Pick it up from the dashboard”

She spoke and informed them about the pickup at the airport that was arranged by the student association and I was someone whom she had known for quite sometime. I felt better.

An hour passed by…She was busy looking at the woods and checking the outer world even though it was grim dark. I couldn’t make out what she was looking at but I was sure she was into thinking mode.

“What about calling your boy friend?”

She blanked out for a moment and replied with a “Don’t ask me again” tone, “Not anymore!”

Paartha Nyabagam – Px08 – 1400 Hrs Placard

Year: September 2005

“We have a fresh batch of students coming in and we need 4 volunteers to pick them up from the airport and drop them at the university hostels… So who’s up for this task?” there was silence and none volunteered.

“Had I done the same thing to you guys when you all came over here, you would have had a tough time during the initial months of college…?”

A reluctant Praveen and Pooja stood up and this made our Indian students association at California State University president happy. Now you guys can choose the other two if they aren’t volunteering.

I want Raam and Suraj… said Pooja.

“I saw that coming… Alright now we have 4 people to receive, pick and drop at our university campus. We are good to go guys… the flight schedule for this weekend are in the sheets given to you. In case of any concerns, you guys can get in touch with me on the number mentioned in the schedule sheets”

My slots were Saturday 2 PM and Sunday 9 PM slot… “You just made my weekend splendid while all my friends would be going down for a football match…” I said and left.

Day 1… 
The day turned out to be a horrible one. There were a group of students from Vijayawada. They never stopped calling me sir nor didn’t have any idea of what they were doing. They enquired about anything and everything they saw on the freeways. 

“I am feeling hungry…” 

“I need to brush my teeth…” 

“I want to go to the rest room…” 

“Do you mind pulling over somewhere over the side?”

“Guys… Guys… Please… Listen…” I said and continued.

“There is a MacDonald’s in the next 3 miles. I will pull over there for an hour and you can do what ever you guys wanna do”

“Ok sir…”

“And stop calling me sir! My name is Raam…”

“Where are you from?” 

“How long have you been in US?” 

“Which is your specialization subject?” 

“How are the professors in the university?”

Even the CIA, MI6 and KGB together wouldn’t have asked me so many questions. I just felt like saying, 

“Welcome to India, Raam!”

To be continued…

Paartha Nyabagam – Px07 – Delta 9378


We boarded the flight and I was too tired doing the CIA work since taking off from Chennai. So I decided to doze off for the next 11 Hours of non stop travel but fate always had its way…

The girl in the transparent stockings sat next to me. I stood immediately and said, “Do I need to change the seat? Where is your mom?”

She couldn’t stop laughing at me and said, “No…She isn’t coming. She was travelling only till Amsterdam”

“So shall I sit or someone else is replacing me here…” I said with a smile.

“No…No one…You can have yours…No more obligations” she replied with a grin.


I tried to browse through the magazines and tried to pretend to listen to the songs on my iPod even though I knew there was no battery left. The first one hour went by and I couldn’t stop myself from asking her…

“I strongly feel that you certainly don’t belong to Chennai…”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Just guessing…Am I right?”

“Yeah…I am from Punjab. I came down to Chennai to meet my uncles before travelling back to US”
See… There I go…I guessed correctly” I was proud of myself even though it was clearly evident that she was no where from India!

“Yes you are…”

“But if you don’t mind, what about your mom?”

“Actually my parents are settled in Amsterdam and my relatives in Chennai. I live in Los Angeles. I flew down to meet my relatives after 4 years and my mom after 2 years”

“Oh! Yeah…I could notice from your accent and your mom’s desperation to sit next to you…”
She smiled and that was enough to set the Aircraft race for the moon!

An hour passed by and I couldn’t take my eyes off her… “I am Raam”


“Cool name…”

Another hour passed by,

“This is my first time to United States”

She was snoring.

She wasn’t interested in me but I was very much into her…

The Air Hostess asked, “would you like to have vegetarian or non vegetarian?”

She replied, “Vegetarian please”

“What about you sir”

“Of course Vegetarian…I didn’t know that you are a vegetarian. I am also a vegetarian. It feels so 
good to be a vegetarian isn’t it? I just can’t stand by people who have non vegetarian. How can they kill an animal and have it. That’s so bad.”

Following is the conversation that happened between Malar and Dhanan on the other side at the same time…

“This chicken is awesome…Raam should be loving it…”

“He would have completed this by now and would have asked for an extra leg piece…”

And they both started to chuckle…

“Let me go and check on him…” said Dhanan and he came to me exactly when I was having my PETA conversation with Suman…

“Machi…Did you try the chicken…It’s roasted just as you love it…You should be in love with this chic…” and he stopped when I stared at him and he looked at my plate full of lettuce and green salad…

He didn’t say a word and left silently and Suman couldn’t stop laughing…

“Looks like he got confused with another chicken… Sorry… another friend of mine,” I stammered
And she started to laugh loudly…

“What…What’s there to laugh?” I asked

“Actually, even I am a non vegetarian but I was never sure of the non vegetarian provided in the aircrafts…So I opted for vegetarian…”

“Oh…Chicken is actually a healthyyyyy dish…” I dragged and I was in an awkwardly situation…
For the next 3 hours, I couldn’t feel right and kept quiet while Dhanan snored on the chicken he just had! I thought of putting my pillow on his face and killing him.

The entertainment screen displayed the time to reach the destination as 2 hours 30 minutes. I wanted to extract her number and place of living before we got down.

So was about to strike a conversation and then,
“I suppose you are going to Los Angeles. Can you help with the hand luggage? I have to show you some photos of visit to the place couple of years ago…”

Wow…Now she is striking a conversation with me…I jumped onto the luggage and gave her laptop right away. She pulled open some pictures of her and her friends in and around California…

“This is from Universal Studios…That’s Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco…That’s when I went on a trip to San Diego…That’s the Torrey Pines Beach…”

Wow… Bikini… I whispered

“And this is Big Sur…And that’s my close friend Marcus” she said pointing to a shirtless lean patchy guy in a military colour boxers.

“Boy friend”

“I don’t know…” she said and smiled.

My world crashed in front of me but still wanted to grill and get out the information… “I don’t know? What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked her with a smile.

“Hmm…I like this guy but he seems to be too busy teaching architecture to his students…”

“He’s a professor”

“Right…California State University, Northridge”

I smiled and shook my head…


“I am going to the same university but with Electronics and Computers as majors.”

“That’s cool…So we can catch up…”

“Sure… So he doesn’t know that you love him but you are going to propose him?”

“Hmm…” She nodded with a smile

I was dejected but gathered confidence enough to say, “I wish you luck…”

“Thank U…” She said with an accent.

“And hey, if you want keep in touch with me, this is my number written back of this card.”


“You can call me in case of any help you want…”

“Sure…That’s…That’s great…” And the flight landed in Los Angeles International Airport

Paartha Nyabagam – Px06 – Delta 9377

Year: January 2005
Place: Chennai International Airport

“All the best kanna”

“Thank You…”

“Take care…”



I left for United States of America along with Dhanan and Malar who also applied to the same university and received calls. My flight was booked on Delta Airlines.

I don’t know how many of you would be agreeing to this, but everyone I had come across is always concerned about who’s the person who is going to sit next to us. And if you are a male, it doesn’t matter even if you are married or single. We would still expect some extremely hot looking or beautiful girl to come by and sit next to us. I made myself perfectly enabled to get a window seat by doing an online check-in. This helped me to get a separate seat. Dhanan and Malar had their seats parallel to my row. And every time a guy or an aunt passed by, I would pray “Not him… Not her…”

It was almost close to 5 minutes before they shut the doors; I found a woman in her 40’s and a girl in 20’s getting inside the aircraft. I was sceptical that they might be mom and daughter and it turned out to be exactly what I expected.

Now coming back to the girl, she had terrific eyes lit by the bright mascara, hair that was smooth like a silk, had her beautiful legs covered in transparent stockings, with cute little pearl droplets as ear rings, a pearl necklace to cover her neckline, a kissable pout and a 34-28-36 stats to die for! I calmed down and waited for her to come and sit next to me.

“Son, If you don’t mind, can you please shift to this parallel seat. I have my daughter here whom I had met after many years. Can you please spare us sometime together?”

I was super sure about my answer to the lady until this happened,

“Please… If you don’t mind”

Wow… What would you do when a girl so stunning and gorgeous stand in front of you and talk to you so politely?

“Sure…You can have it…”

And to the horror, the seat which I was offered was next to guess who… Dhanan!  Malar and Dhanan had a hearty laugh for almost 45 minutes while I stuffed cotton in my ears… All the fun and frolic they had over me were compensated with a smile and the four words ‘thank you so much’ from the girl in the transparent stockings! And for the next 10 hours, it was the longest journey I ever had in my life to Amsterdam.

But I never stopped trying…

I spoke to the air hostess about the fire safety and emergency evacuation in case of fire or turbulence. She was all fine until I spoke about turbulence and emergency ejection. She called one of her male crew member to explain in detail and I never wanted that to happen…
By the time he came over I was clear with the concepts and said… “No thanks! I am very clear about the precautions…”

“I played a couple of English movies on the small screen while Malar leaned over me and slept. Dhanan was already snoring. The girl in the transparent stockings stood up and walked to the restroom, then ordered a cup of coffee, she slept, had an argument with her mom, she had food, then sneezed a couple of times, checked her lipstick and mascara, had a glimpse of the outer world from her window seat, watched a movie, she dozed off, took off to the rest room once again before the next course meal…

Overall I spent my entire time watching her and I was hardly bored.

We reached Amsterdam with close to 3 hours of transit time before our next flight to Los Angeles.

To be continued…